Are you forever fighting fires? It seems that I have been doing this for a long time - always having to react to what the world throws at me. I have become complacent, I have to admit. I have got used to coasting along and enjoying the easy life.
There's a time for everything under the sun says the teacher, Solomon the wise. Time to reap, time to sow, time to live, time to die... Etc. but am I proactive or do I just go with the flow? It will take huge effort to get up out of the couch. I don't know if I can do it.
I woke up thinking this morning about how I am always being pushed. I imagined climbing on a rock face. I and some friends were captured by terrorists on the rock and we had to act before they did. I didn't want to get pushed again.
When I lived on the isle of dogs we had such a sweet and easy, safe existence and I started getting used to it, it encouraged me to lose sight of God, although we were engaged in church and ministry I didn't really actively seek God's word for my own life and direction. If I had would I have been ready to move on earlier? would I have been better prepared for the move to Margate? possibly even preempting the redundancy from LCM.
God always holds us in his hands, but I'd rather I was getting up and moving when He required it rather than when I was prodded, it's far less stressful I think.
So I came downstairs to read my bible. I opened as you do at Christmas on the story of the Magi following the star. The say 'we have seen his star in the east and have come to worship him.' Pulled, not pushed. They came because they are looking for God in their life. Am I looking for God in my life?
There's another line in the bible that says that every knee shall bend and every tongue confess to worship Jesus. I'd rather I did this voluntarily.
I hope that I will change, that I will find renewed desire to seek his face and that I will go in response to the call.
One day we will perish, we can choose to go through that door kicking and screaming or we can go faithfully and peacefully, I think the ultimate goal is this dignified exit that has the knowledge of a positive future.
