Resisting peer pressure

One really important thing to everyone has to be self-awareness. I believe that in order for us to make sense of our existence we need to know if we have a purpose; and end goal, and we need to know how we are going to get to it, which is only made possible through self-awareness. Since 2001 I have believed that there is a God, and that our purpose in life is to do what he wants us to do. I also believe that we get to this goal of doing what he wants us to do by being related, and, relating to him. But I have always struggled with knowing why I have been so negative. This past week I have had a wonderful opening up of my understanding of myself. This comes through a conversation with a friend, a young man who was going out for a drink.

I know this man well, he is very young, too young to be drinking. It was his birthday and his friends had invited him out to a nearby bar. I wanted to find a way to warn him against going there but was not sure what to say. He is a really gentle, sweet boy who has a great chance at life. He has some issues; we all do, but nothing insurmountable. 

Dad and brother

Mum and brother

I thought as I talked about my own life. I have often said that I had a bad upbringing, that I had a really hard life and things were really tough for me. But for some reason whenever I told people this I feel uncomfortable, and I get sort of swept up emotionally and become more enraged as I talk. Now as I spoke I thought to myself, did you really have such a bad experience? I have been reflecting for a long time on my formative years and those teenage years too. The reason I was feeling so uncomfortable is this, I have always been telling a lie. I was peaceful, and I guess as described by others, quite a nice boy. When I went to high school there were new forces at play, big boys who were very threatening. You needed to be a part of some group. I started to befriend some chaps in my school who were the alternative to the bully's. They listened to unusual music and somehow I thought that I who had never been particularly respected in school could somehow achieve status be becoming part of this group. I was readily accepted and though there was never any open peer pressure, there was an awareness that you really became a part of the group when you 'joined in' in the activities which often involved some form of minor crime. The conversations revolved around music, tattoos, drugs, sex and how much you hate your parents. It took 15 years for me to get out of this group. I say this because though I left the school in 3 years, the types of people I associated with since then was largely the same. The conversation the same. These dialogues opened up in me a negativity and hopelessness. At one stage when I was about 21 I kind of hoped I wouldn't make 28. Sadly many of those friends didn't make it to their 21st birthday. Things progressed when I moved to London, into hard drugs particularly. Lots of hard drugs, lots more negative thoughts and friends and some extremely negative music. But I was lucky. When I was 30 I went to a church and learned about God's love for me. It was brilliant. I made a big turn then, but I was always struggling with my past, trying to fathom out who I was, and now I had a bit more of a picture. I was one of those guys who was deceived. I was sucked into a spiral of negativity. I passed the information on to my young friend. He went out to the bar shortly afterwards. I hope that he has learned something. The book of Corinthians says Do not be misled “Bad company corrupts good character.”' So I guess the bottom-line is this, we must be careful who we listen to, particularly when we are young and emotionally charged, we can easily be swayed, molded, to adopt attitudes and ideas that are not our own. It is hard when you are young to actually recognize your own fragility, and if you are sucked in, I do hope that you get a second chance. I don't believe any of these people I mixed with were so mixed up at the start. Jesus had a name for his opposition, he called him 'the father of lies'. The children that are adopted by this father are to be avoided. There was a way out when I was at school. It was with the Christians. They seemed really weird at the time, but now they seem to be generally very stable and successful.

For me, well it's relieving to have a fresh picture now, it has freed me up from my negativity almost overnight. I am so grateful to my family, they have put up with so much nonsense from me. I love my mum and my dad, my brother etc... I also had a very happy childhood. I think, now, I am more equipped to fulfil my goal.
God is good.